Black Ribbons
by Ketakoshka Kathleen Castlionia
Summary: Harry grew up with friends no one else in his family could see. That doesn't mean he's crazy, he's just special. After all, not many people could befriend Voldemort and the princess of Hueco Mundo. But they were friends, still. And when he's grown up, fifth year, everyone else gets to meet the Bleach gangs in an attempt to unite all of the magical creatures. Bad Idea
1. Prologue

_**So here's another Bleach/Harry Potter story by me! I hope everyone likes it.**_

_**Disclaimer: the only one for this story. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.**_

_**Warnings: Cross Dressing! Harry. Non-graffic Yaoi and Yuri. Mainly Fluff... um... yeah I think that's it.**_

_**Pairings:**_

_**Bleach: Chad x Rukia, Renji x Anyu (O.C.), Orihime x Ulquiorra, Ichimaru (Hollow Ichigo) {I call Gin Ichimaru, Gin} x Keta (O.C.) x Ichigo, Toushiro x Rangiku, Souske x Hannavera (O.C.), Gin x Anathema (O.C.)... other minor ones.**_

_**Harry Potter: Harry x Voldemort, Ginny x Theodore Nott, Draco x Blaise, George x Fred, Luna x Neville, Remus x Sirius, an open relationship of Lucius x Severus & Narcissa x Lucius.**_

Black Ribbons

Prologue: Prologue to My Darker Half-_** (Rugrats Theory – Vocaloid (AN: I changed a few of the lyrics to make it fit better)**_

_**I think the world is so wonderful (The world is wonderful)**_

A little boy looks down at his sheet of paper, admiring his writing. "Should I continue?" he asks aloud, even though he knows that they can hear his thoughts. He nods when they tell him yes, that it's better to put down his feelings. So he does… for years and years…

_**And we only have one chance to be here,**_

_**So tell me why you're hurting yourself?**_

He pulls his hand back from the stove, cringing, not from the pain, but from the scolding he's receiving from his only friends.

_**I guess I just do not understand (What's the meaning of life?)**_

He looks up from a book, holding his place with his frail four year old hand. The doll in his lap stands up, but really it's just one of his friends moving her. She, both the doll and his friend, caress his face in an attempt to get him to stop thinking of mortality. She doesn't want him to die.

_**Everything I've been told I believe,**_

_**And yet people that I love just leave**_

He looks up at his Aunt, eyes wide as she screams at him with those hurtful words. If it wasn't for his special friends, he wouldn't even know his own name. She screams about the car crash that killed his parents, and his other friend, not the female one, the male one shirks back into Harry's loving embrace.

_**Is something bothering you a lot? (Bothering you a lot?)**_

He looks up at the mirror at his scar. He loves it and the friend that came with it. But he doesn't know how he got it. And that worries him.

_**I think I'm old enough to understand,**_

_**So there's no reason to hide from me**_

He's five years old when he first finds the little niche in the backyard. When he's there, he doesn't even want to leave, not for anything.

They don't like it when he's there. They even repeatedly try to draw him out, but to no avail. He's hiding.

_**I know you said that you're not lying… (And well maybe that's true…)**_

_**So I'll push away any doubt I have...**_

_**Because I know you will tell the truth**_

_**Right, Cynthia?**_

He frowns at his Uncle, but doesn't speak. If he does, he'll be hurt again. But he's fine with that.

His friends tell him that one day they'll make him pay. He can't wait. And in his hidden excitement, he clutches his doll closer.

_**Welcome to my perfect world,**_

_**According to Me!**_

_**It's my turn to run the show!**_

_**Next to Cynthia~!**_

He runs around the backyard, a happy expression on his face. Cynthia's clutched in his arms as he races around.

He and his friends are all alone in his little world, since the evil Dursleys are gone for the day.

_**With Tom the Horcrux and Keta,**_

_**I'll never feel alone…**_

_**So we can play games all day long,**_

_**While the Earth is spinning…**_

_**Round and round and round and round and round and round,**_

_**While the Earth is spinning**_

He holds out his hands for the little boy and girl to take them as they play, spinning in circles, around and around.

Tom, bound to him by the scar, plays so happily beside the boy as if nothing else in the world could matter.

Keta, bound by the blood they share, levitates Cynthia in the air so she can spin and play with them.

_**Welcome to my wonderland,**_

_**With new adventures everywhere**_

_**As long everything's the same,**_

_**I will be okay**_

She smiles darkly and snickers lightly as she cradles her friend in the darkness of the cupboard. Tom isn't outside right now, as it takes too much out of him to always be there. But he's still there in spirit, both figuratively and literally. "Never leave," he whispers, wincing as he speaks because of the cut on his lower lip.

"We won't."

_**With my Aunt, Uncle and Dudley**_

_**The World will be alright**_

_**They just have to listen to me,**_

_**And do what I tell them…**_

"Let me go!" Harry screams at the other boy, struggling and straining. He cries because Tom and Keta can't help him. "Please let me go!"

_**Why, why, why, why, why, why?**_

_**Why won't they listen?**_

_**Why, why, why, why, why, why?**_

_**Why won't they listen?**_

The bruises on his face are taken into account by the teachers of his school, but they don't say anything, even as he seems to come back week after week with new ones. No one listens.

No one, except Tom and Keta.

_**Everyone's whispering about me (What are they talking about?)**_

"We have to do something about him, Pet!"

"What can we do, Vernon?"

"I don't know! But he's too freakish for us to keep any longer! He talks to himself!"

Harry peeks around the corner to look at his family, scared.

_**Do you think I did something wrong again?**_

_**Well I promise you, it wasn't me**_

Harry slams into the ground, face and arm burning. The grease from the pan sizzles on his skin, bringing tears to his eyes. "You stupid creature! Go to your cupboard!" his Uncle screams, knowing that his whale of a son was the one to trip his nephew.

_**Why does everyone think I'm blind? (I can see perfectly fine)**_

_**The truth is, I've ignore the bad things**_

_**I guess it's too late to do that now…**_

Harry looks down at his smashed glasses with a whimper, curling up into a ball on the little cot. Tom and Keta sit on the ground in front of him with sorrowful eyes. He finally sees that everything is wrong. Everything…

_**Where did you go when I needed you? (I needed you)**_

He looks up at his friends as they cradle him in the dark of the night. He cries and cries in Keta's arms, wishing someone would come to save them. Someone…

_**I'm left alone and I need to start it over now.**_

_**Did you hear me scream? I can't hold it in, not anymore**_

He cries out in the middle of the night, pleading to be let free. His Uncle snarls at his cupboard door and screams for him to shut up before he shuts him up himself.

But the recurring nightmares are too much for him to bare alone. The rampant fear of the green light and the twinge of unease towards Tom that accompanies it are too much. He fears that he'll break apart soon.

_**Who am I again?**_

_**A prince? Or psychopath?**_

He looks up from his pretty picture with a gentle smile. He thinks it's so beautiful, so beautiful.

Keta and Tom are watching him as he strings up his relatives. Their throats are torn open and a lead pipe connects all of them together: straight through their hands. Blood covers him and his friends as if they helped him achieve revenge.

Perhaps in the real world they will.

_**Welcome to my Paradise,**_

_**That's slowly crumbling away**_

As he grows older, everything gets worse. Vernon and Dudley grow more violent with each passing week, and Petunia becomes more wary of the boy that seem to grow more dependent on his 'imaginary' friends. But are they really so imaginary?

_**Now I've chosen to open my eyes,**_

_**Will you go away?**_

Sometimes, when Keta leaves for a little while and Tom's too tired to play and stay with him, he begins to see the world in the way he should of. In one of these times, he finally sees just how abnormal he is and tries to erase his best friends.

_**It's getting hard for me to breathe,**_

_**My tears choke me to death.**_

But when they're gone, everything gets worse. He cannot take the beatings, and he cries so much, finding no comfort in the world.

_**Maybe I should have never been**_

_**Brought to this Earth at all**_

_**Dying, dying, dying, dying, dying, dying,**_

_**Never brought here at all**_

On one of these times, his uncle's pissed off about losing part of his paycheck and takes it out on him.

As he lays on the ground bleeding to death, something inside off him wakes up. He lashes out with magic, magic he never knew was there. And he heals. If you hadn't seen what his uncle had done to him, you'd never know he was hurt.

If only that had made it easier.

_**Welcome to my broken heart,**_

_**According to a little boy**_

On his tenth birthday, he's kept safe by his friends who laugh and play with him all day. Keta even makes Cynthia move around and around. She dances and hugs him. He laughs, making Tom laugh too.

_**Will this nightmare ever end?**_

_**Will I be set free?**_

Keta smiles, knowing that her gole has been met. She just wants to see him happy. And he is, until Vernon walks in.

He doesn't see Harry's friends, only the doll that moves. He grabs Cynthia, intent on destroying the satanic doll.

_**The pain is eating me alive,**_

_**It's so hard to admit**_

_**But there's no point in talking at all,**_

_**If no-one hears me**_

"No! Leave Cynthia alone!"

"Shut up!" Harry cries, reaching out as Vernon rips her apart.

_**Screaming, crying, hurting, dying, suffering, wishing,**_

_**I could just rewind it**_

He falls to the ground, screaming. "How dare you?"

Vernon scoffs, throwing it down. "Just shut up freak."

_**Backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards, backwards,**_

_**Now that it's rewinded**_

_**Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing**_

_**Now, my world is perfect.**_

With those words, Harry's magic lashes out again, throwing his uncle back. He laughs when he sees the horror on his face as the doll mends itself, standing up and turning around as it does so. "Cynthia," he whispers, hugging her closely.

_**Now, my world is perfect (x5)**_

Harry looks up at Hagrid, then down at his letter. Keta and Tom are joyous, if they were visible you'd see them jumping around. And Harry laughs, throwing his hands up in the air and spinning around.

'God the rest of summer vacation is going to be wonderful!'


	2. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: the only one for this story. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.**_

_**Warnings: Cross Dressing! Harry. Non-graffic Yaoi and Yuri. Mainly Fluff / Vampire! Harry, Draco and Ulquiorra, Werewolf! Toushiro, Twins!Werepanther!Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo, Demon (Cat)! Byakuya, Witch! Soi Fon.**_

_**Pairings:**_

_**Bleach: Chad x Rukia, Renji x Anyu (O.C.), Orihime x Ulquiorra, Ichimaru (Hollow Ichigo) {I call Gin Ichimaru, Gin} x Keta (O.C.) x Ichigo, Toushiro x Rangiku, Souske x Hannavera (O.C.), Gin x Anathema (O.C.)... other minor ones.**_

_**Harry Potter: Harry x Voldemort, Ginny x Theodore Nott, Draco x Blaise, George x Fred, Luna x Neville, Remus x Sirius, an open relationship of Lucius x Severus & Narcissa x Lucius.**_

* * *

_**Saissister: Thank you darling.**_

_**fokker333: Thank you very much! And you see a few of the Bleach characters at the end of this chapter and in the next.**_

_**killroy225: Don't worry. The centered bold breaks don't happen for the rest of the story. I just wanted to write the prologue diffrently.**_

_**Immortalis Cruor Elf: I'll try to keep them at least once a week!**_

_**kareso: Yeah, but Harry gets revenge.**_

_**Rose Haven: Yeah... I just like keeping things diffrent. Like Shuuhei x Tatsuki. And yeah, that is a pretty akward moment.**_

_**So... I love you all. Please keep it up!**_

_**Love, Keta.**_

Chapter 1: Snakes, Badgers, Ravens and Lions

**_When I lay my head down_**

**_to go to sleep at night.._**

**_My dreams consist of things_**

**_that'll make you wanna hide._**

**_Don't let me in ya your tower._**

**_Show me your magic powers!_**

**_I'm not afraid to face_**

**_a little bit of danger, danger!_**

**_-Wonderland (Natalia Kills)_**

Harry's POV

I smile at the other students on the train. The first years follow behind me, giggling and occasionally daring to touch my dress. I don't mind; they can't hurt it. "Harry!" one of my old following girls, Astoria Greengrass cries, running over to hug me.

Even though she's a Slytherin and I'm a Gryffindor, I don't mind. I try to keep an open mind when it comes to children. "Hello, Astoria. What's up?"

"Zachariah Smith is tormenting the others again."

I narrow my eyes and brush past her, aware of the first years and her following me. "Smith!" I throw open his compartment door and growl. "What did I tell you?" He shirks back away from me, fear crawling up on his face. "I told you to keep your trap shut! I told you to leave the younger years alone! And you disobeyed me?"

"I'm sorry, Harry!"

"Sorry isn't going to cut it anymore! If I hear about you tormenting the younger years again, I will not show mercy." My eyes turn red and slit, something that they haven't done in a long time. "Do you understand, Smith?"

"Y-yes, Harry. It won't happen again."

"Good," I growl and walk back out and down the corridor, my following having already begun to seek out the equally favorited Draco Malfoy, one of my best friends and 'brother'.

I sigh, coming into my empty compartment in the back. I set down and lean on the suddenly appearing boy beside me. "If he is that stressful to you, love, I will gladly kill him for you."

I groan. "You can't just kill everyone who irritates me, Tom. Life doesn't work that way." He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on mine, mindful of the pins that keep up my shoulder-length hair.

"I know. If it did, we'd be together forever without Dumbledore to stand in our way." I roll my eyes at the extension of my lover's soul. Early on in my life I learned that horcruxes have the capability to send any feelings and thoughts to the other. So even though the main soul and the piece are split apart they are still one in the same.

It's hard to believe that Voldemort would love me. Hell, he loved me so much that his diary, and soul piece, when they came to me, refused to attack anymore. In third year, Tom gave me Wormtail to give to the ministry, clearing Sirius' name; he turned his back on the light shortly after. And then in fourth year, I convinced him not to kill Cedric, only Obliviate him; we're still friends. Now with this year, the dementors that that attacked, and the ministry getting involved, he's more likely to try and get involved in my school life.

I sigh, getting pulled from my thoughts as his hand starts to slip down my side and down my back. "Tom Marvolo Riddle, leave my ass alone!"

"But it's so perky and tempting!"

"I'd like to keep my virginity for a little while longer."

"But, I already lost mine. It wouldn't be fair if you got to keep yours."

I roll my eyes. "You are such a child."

"Look who's talking." He ruffles my hair softly before fading out of sight just as quick as he came.

"Harry!" the door slides open, and Draco pops in.

"Hello, Draconis."

"Do you have to call me that?"

"It is your name, is it not?"

"Yeah it is but I like Draco better. Draconis makes me sound like an old aristocrat." His nose twitches and his right eye develops the slight twitch that he gets when he's annoyed.

"Technically," I say haughtily and internally laughing, "You are an aristocrat. And you will get old… and possibly fat."

He growls at me and launches at me, knocking me to the ground, and his eyes flash red. "I won't get old, and I won't fat." He bares his fangs before continuing. "I will stay the same age forever soon. Just like you, Harry."

"Yeah, yeah," I yawn, laying back with no struggle. "You know that Tom and I were having alone time before you walked in."

"Well, I'm glad I came before he got your clothes off."

I glare at him. "You know that Tom won't do anything like that until I am ready."

"And are you ready?"

"No! Well, maybe… I don't know…" I sigh and glance down at my watch. "Let me up. I need to put on my uniform."

"Why can't they let you wear your dress?"

"You know why.

"But you look pretty in it."

"Thanks, I think."

"It was a compliment."

"Oh, okay." I snap my fingers and suddenly my dress is gone and replaced by my uniform. With a yawn and another snap, Draco's are replaced too.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, Dragon."

"Now that name's better." I roll my eyes and brace myself as the train suddenly stops. Draco scowls from his spot on the floor and mutters lowly, "you'd think that a magical train would stop easier." I quickly pick him back up off of the floor and walk back out of the door.

Hermione and Ron pile into the carriage with us, laughing and holding hands. "Hey, Harry! How are you?!" Ron asks loudly.

"I told you not to drink that cappuccino, Ronald." Hermione holds her head in her hands and sighs.

"What's a capa-chino?" Draco asks.

"A coffee drink," I answer and he gives me a grateful look.

"So…" Hermione interjects, "did you hear about the schools coming to Hogwarts this year?"

"No."

"Yeah! Supposedly, Durmstrang, Beauxbatons and a bunch of other schools are coming so we can better get along with other species."

"Other species?"

"Yeah! Like Werewolves, Vampires and those kinds of creatures. And Remus gets to come back to be the delegate between the Werewolves and the wizards!"

"How'd you find that out?" Draco asks.

"I ran into Professor McGonagall, and she told me that I'll need a time-turner."

"For what?"

"Don't know yet. But I will."

I yawn into my hand as the Sorting continues, disinterested, but still making notes of where my little first years were sorted. From across the room, Luna catches my eyes, and she smiles. I return the gesture to the Ravenclaw and then to the Hufflepuff, Neville, that looks up. He grins back and waves at Hermione who finally responds to Terry and Luna's prodding.

I chuckle at my friends and turn back to the Sorting, then Dumbledore; I have mixed feelings about the guy; announces what Hermione had talked about in the carrage, and the schools begin piling.

Halfway into one of the schools speeches voices start from outside of the door:

"You know, Renji, if we hadn't had to stop and get an antihistamine, we would have been here earlier."

"I'm sorry, Rukia! But how was I supposed to know that Ulquiorra's allergic to mangos?" (AN: Pulling that one out of my ass)

"Still, considering the stuff his family members are allergic too, you should ask them before sticking random things in their food."

"It is alright. I'll kick his ass later."

"Ooh! Can I help?! Can I help?!" I know that voice…

The door swings open to reveal a group of arguing teenagers. And in the middle, looking so innocent, is Keta.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: the only one for this story. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.**_

_**Warnings: Cross Dressing! Harry. Non-graffic Yaoi and Yuri. Mainly Fluff / Vampire! Harry, Draco and Ulquiorra, Werewolf! Toushiro, Twins!Werepanther!Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo, Demon (Cat)! Byakuya, Witch! Soi Fon.**_

_**Pairings:**_

_**Bleach: Chad x Rukia, Renji x Anyu (O.C.), Orihime x Ulquiorra, Ichimaru (Hollow Ichigo) {I call Gin Ichimaru, Gin} x Keta (O.C.) x Ichigo, Toushiro x Rangiku, Souske x Hannavera (O.C.), Gin x Anathema (O.C.)... other minor ones.**_

_**Harry Potter: Harry x Voldemort, Ginny x Theodore Nott, Draco x Blaise, George x Fred, Luna x Neville, Remus x Sirius, an open relationship of Lucius x Severus & Narcissa x Lucius.**_

* * *

_**Saissister: Lol.**_

_**killroy225: hehe! I'm fond of cliffhangers.**_

_**kareso: Yep! Love your profile pic! I luv Grell!**_

_**ShinobiTwin05: Yep, it is but... I thought of a random food and mangos came to mind. and don't take that from Ulquiorra! Give him a mango!**_

_**So everyone review for me! I need it! I'm a sad sad girl...**_

_**Love, Keta-chan.**_

* * *

_**Key: Parseltongue**_

Two people (usually Keta and Ulquiorra/ or George and Fred) talking together.

Chapter 2: Infuriating Toad

**_This is a song about five simple words,_**

**_That when used together properly can help to relieve the stress,_**

**_frustrations,_**

**_And aggravations caused by all the people that make you wanna freak_**

**_the fuck out._**

**_Why do you have to go and make things so hard?_**

**_It doesn't have to be like this._**

**_Who the fuck do you think you are?_**

**_That's it, I'm walking away, just one more reason for me to say..._**

**_I Don't Give A…_**

**_-I Don't Give A (Dope)_**

Harry's POV

My eyes open wide, and I find myself standing up. Draco does the same, excitement plain on our faces. Keta looks over at us and squeals. "Harry! Draco!"

"Keta!" I race over to her, and in the process, the pins in my hair fall out, letting it cascade down my back.

"Hello, Tandafir. How have you been? You as well Balaur."

"Fine, Onikai," I whisper. "Sirius has been protecting me and I still have Tom."

She smiles and presses a kiss to my forehead, right on my scar and murmurs, "I have missed you and Tom, Tandafir."

"We've missed you too."

Her grin widens to include her barely hidden fangs. "Do you mind if I sit with you and Balaur? I would love to meet all of your little friends." She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, earning a punch to her arm. "Aww! Why do you have to be so mean to me?!"

"Just sit down, Keta!"

She scowls at the head table, growling loudly. "Severus Snape. It's been a long, long time since I've seen you. Sixteen years, right? Sissy and Lily were pregnant the last time I saw you." She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her chest. "But I've seen Tandafir, my rose much more often then you. Balaur, however, was much more sporadic." I punch the air in victory and she laughs. "That doesn't mean I love you more, Harry."

"Aww."

**_"But I still love you." _**Her eyes slit as she speaks in parseltounge, motion for the ones behind her to go sit down.

"Keta," the orangette inquires, "where are you going to go?"

"I'm going to sit with Severus and make his life miserable. I'm good at that you know, Ichigo."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Shut it, Nnoitora! I'm not above burying you again." The tall lanky man, Nnoitora pales considerably and backs away from both her and the pale, black haired man with acid green eyes.

"Why are you backing away from me?"

"You're evil too, Ulquiorra!"

"Can't help it!" they shout together, sharing a laugh afterwards.

The others stalk off, muttering about psychotic demonic children to which they respond with a pout. He follows her up to the front table where they transfigure twin expensive looking chairs out of thin air. She sits cross-legged, holding his hand and ignoring the glares from the new defense teacher.

Keta's POV

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the grotesquely pink toad of a woman growls at me, and I give her an evil grin. "Who are you?"

"Princess Ketakoshka Castlionia, the Cero Espada." She pales. "So Cornelius told you about me then? Oh, and Headmaster Dumbledore, thank you for allowing me to have my exclusive defense classes in place of making everyone take this filth's pitiful class." The woman looks murderous while the aging Headmaster blushes.

"Mrs. Castlionia, I implore you to be much kinder or I. Will. Take. You. Down."

"Miss. I never got married." I shift my head into my hand and give her a sad look. "My fiancés died before our wedding. They were and are still wonderful. They just had to be reincarnated and die again for me to find them again. Oh, well."

U'ra chuckles under his breath, laying his hand on my arm. "Do not be cruel dear sister. Of course. Ulquiorra Schiffer, the cuarto espada, and the substitute teacher when Keta has other things to do." His emotions slide off of his face, leaving a creepy emotionless look there as he finishes. "And you best not get on our bad sides."

"Why not?" she all but screams to which we respond together.

"In the words of Dope, we don't give a fuck about you."

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_********__Last note! I have a poll up for a Supernatural/Harry Potter crossover. Please check it out! Thank you!_


	4. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: the only one for this story. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.**_

_**Warnings: Cross Dressing! Harry. Non-graffic Yaoi and Yuri. Mainly Fluff / Vampire! Harry, Draco and Ulquiorra, Werewolf! Toushiro, Twins!Werepanther!Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo, Demon (Cat)! Byakuya, Witch! Soi Fon.**_

_**Pairings:**_

_**Bleach: Chad x Rukia, Renji x Anyu (O.C.), Orihime x Ulquiorra, Ichimaru (Hollow Ichigo) {I call Gin Ichimaru, Gin} x Keta (O.C.) x Ichigo, Toushiro x Rangiku, Souske x Hannavera (O.C.), Gin x Anathema (O.C.)... other minor ones.**_

_**Harry Potter: Harry x Voldemort, Ginny x Theodore Nott, Draco x Blaise, George x Fred, Luna x Neville, Remus x Sirius, an open relationship of Lucius x Severus & Narcissa x Lucius.**_

* * *

_**So everyone review for me! I need it! I've been sick! So you need to cheer me up! Or I won't keep working on this.**_

_**Love, Keta-chan.**_

* * *

_**Key: Parseltongue**_

Two people (usually Keta and Ulquiorra/ or George and Fred) talking together.

Chapter 3: Cruel Children

**_Yes, we are_**

**_We're cutting close as you stare at the scenery_**

**_Truth, we write_**

**_Always colorful, cutting and cold._**

**_Yes, we lie_**

**_And we see eye to eye through you stand at the feet of me_**

**_And so, tonight... means goodbye as the story was told_**

**_-Alice, Alice (Victim Effect)_**

Harry's POV

"Harry, who is that woman you were talking to at the feast?" Hermione asks.

"Yeah, Draco," Blaise interjects.

We offer each other sly smiles before we say simply, "Ketakoshka Castlionia, our godmother."

In my head I count down from three and simultaneously many, many things happen. Hermione drops the book she's holding, Ron starts to choke on a piece of candy, Blaise and Theodore knock over their chess set, Pansy, Daphne and Astoria drop their hairbrushes on Ginny's head, Luna smiles softly, Fred and George drop the muggle firecracker they're modifying, and Neville falls out of his chair.

"Y-your godmother," Ron finally manages to stammer out. "That hot chick is your godmother."

"Yeah," I answer simply. "And don't call her 'the hot chick'. She's a lot older than us."

"She's a vampire. Right, Harry?"

"Yeah, Luna. How'd you guess?"

"I saw her fangs, and her eyes turned red. It was pretty obvious. Her friends aren't human either. The nargles told me that."

"Well, the nargles are probably correct. It wouldn't make sense for her to spend so much time with humans," Draco says, leaning back in the chair by the fireplace. "She practically can't stand anyone who is."

"Well on the subject of humans," Theodore pipes up, and I know where this conversation's heading. "Is she the one?"

"Yes, Theo," Draco sighs. "Keta's the one that turned us into vampires. Or well… will be turning into vampires."

"Don't sound so put out, Dragon. We should be thankful and happy for next few months we have as mostly humans. Personally I can't wait until the new year. Then there'll be no reason for me to put up with being away from Tom for so long."

"You just want your own room."

We all laugh at Ron's comment. "Perhaps…" I sing-song back. "That I'll share with Tom." My hand unconsciously reaches up to touch the scar that linked the two of us together, and I smile.

Third Person POV

Later on in the day, Gryffindor and Slytherin have class with Umbridge. Wisely, Harry's kept his mouth shut, even when she said something derogatory about vampires. If it weren't for the death grip Draco and he have on each other, they'd be at her throat in an instant. On their opposite sides, Blaise has Harry's leg and Ron has Draco's.

But the expressions on their faces are enough to tell Umbridge that they hate her and her comments.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, stop scowling this instant or you'll be serving detention tonight."

"Yes, Professor," Draco drops his gaze, but Harry continues to scowl at her.

"Mr. Potter, this is you last warning!"

"Harry, stop," Ron pleads as he stands up.

"Give me one good reason, Umbridge. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't curse you into oblivion."

"Because, you will be expelled. Detention for threatening a teacher!"

He smirks. "I won't come to it. You're not my teacher anymore. Keta told me about her special class. After today, Draco and I won't be coming to yours anymore. Ron, Blaise, Ginny, Theodore, Fred, George, Hermione, Luna and Neville have been invited as well." At the mention of the woman, she turns green. "Oh, so you've already talked to our godmother."

"Yes, she has." The door creaks open to reveal said woman and a little black creature that looks like a demon.

"May I bite the fat lady?" it asks.

"No, Matryoshka. You are to be a good boy."

"And that's not a good thing?" his voice displays childish innocence.

"No, it's not. That would be bad."

"But I'm a demon. I'm supposed to be bad."

"Tell that to Byakuya. He's too much of a goody-two-shoes." He giggles loudly, reaching up to grasp at the hem of her knee length dress.

"Okay, mistress. I tell!" His evil grin broadens, displaying two rows of shark-like teeth. "Then can I bite the fat lady who distresses mistress's godsons?"

"No, Matryoshka! Apologize to the toad!" Keta's grin grows as well, showing sharp fangs that prick at her lip. "And the toad needs to apologize herself."

"For what?!"

"Your earlier comment on vampires. Trust me, we don't appreciate it." To the children, she smiles sweetly and says, "I expect you and your friends to be at the entrance to the Forbidden Forest directly after supper tomorrow."

The little demon's black wings branch out and he whispers to the toad, "Matryoshka will be watching you. So watch out."

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**On the subject of Matryoshka. If I do continue, he will be a regular character in this story. He's Keta and Ulquiorra's pet. And he's a very, very evil, yet cute, demon who likes to bite people, especially Nnoitora.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: the only one for this story. I don't own Bleach or Harry Potter.**_

_**Warnings: Cross Dressing! Harry. Non-graffic Yaoi and Yuri. Mainly Fluff / Vampire! Harry, Draco and Ulquiorra, Werewolf! Toushiro, Twins!Werepanther!Ichigo and Hollow Ichigo, Demon (Cat)! Byakuya, Witch! Soi Fon.**_

_**Pairings:**_

_**Bleach: Chad x Rukia, Renji x Anyu (O.C.), Orihime x Ulquiorra, Ichimaru (Hollow Ichigo) {I call Gin Ichimaru, Gin} x Keta (O.C.) x Ichigo, Toushiro x Rangiku, Souske x Hannavera (O.C.), Gin x Anathema (O.C.)... other minor ones.**_

_**Harry Potter: Harry x Voldemort, Ginny x Theodore Nott, Draco x Blaise, George x Fred, Luna x Neville, Remus x Sirius, an open relationship of Lucius x Severus & Narcissa x Lucius.**_

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_**DarkMatterKumos: Lol. There will be many more Matryoshka and the Toad instances.**_

_**Guest: I highly doubt this is the strangest. It hasn't even reached it's climax. And Grimmjow is in this chapter. He's been hiding for the very reason your going to see.**_

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_**Review, guys. Now!**_

_**Love, Keta-chan.**_

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_**Key: Parseltongue**_

Two people (usually Keta and Ulquiorra/ or George and Fred) talking together.

Chapter 4: The First Class

**_Welcome to the gun show_**

**_Tonight we get wild_**

**_Welcome to the gun show_**

**_Where the dead come alive_**

**_-The Gun Show (In This Moment)_**

Keta's POV

Acid green glow as they stare back at me, and pearly white fangs gleam as he opens his mouth to huff. A blue bird, all tied up and helpless, hangs on a sting overtop of Grimmjow's head as he sleeps. Unfortunately, it refuses to chirp.

So Ulquiorra jerks the string.

It lets out the bird version of a shriek, and the blue haired arrancar jumps, falling off of his and Anita's bed. We haul the poor creature back up and leave to find more victims.

* * *

I slide up onto the countertop next to my brother as we watch Ichigo cook. "Can my pancakes have marshmallows in them?"

"Yes, Ulquiorra," he whispers, bringing down yet another bowl and filling it half way with pancake batter before passing it to him. "Mix in how many you want."

"Cool!"

"You shouldn't have done that, berry-chan." Nnoitora and Grimmjow waltz out of the living room, bags heavy under their eyes.

Ichigo growls at the nickname before looking over at them. "What the hell happened to you two?"

"The demons sitting on the counter."

"The bird was Yakuya's idea," I supply, mixing my own bowl of peanut butter and chocolate chip pancakes. My finger slips in to catch some and bring it to my lips. "How delicious. What do you thing, U'ra?"

He takes my finger into his mouth and cleans it gently. "Needs more peanut butter."

"Kay!" The other three males stare at us with open mouths. "What?"

"Nothing…" Ichigo answers, shaking his head. "I should be used to the two of you by now. You never do anything without each other. For Christ's sake-"

"Watch it, Kurosaki," U'ra growls.

"Sorry, did think. As I was saying, I finally got Keta to sleep without you like a month ago."

"Are you jealous," Grimmjow asks.

"No. It's just kind of awkward when you have to explain to your younger sisters that your girlfriend can't function without her younger brother."

"It is not so weird. Grimm-kitty and Anita are together. Just in a different way. Let us all be thankful that Anita is sterile… If not we would have miniature versions of them running around, and the world as we know it would cease to exist." We snigger until he continues. "It is bad enough that two miniature versions of Ichigo, Ichimaru and my sister exist."

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with our cubs," Ichigo interjects. "They're perfect, sweet and kind."

"Frier froze my face to my hand and my ass to my seat," Nnoitora growls, "and Garra set me on fire."

"They did such a good job. It was beautiful."

They stare at us incredulously and my brother and I can't be bothered to care. "Any who, my first class is tonight."

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Harry's POV

I nod over at the Weasley twins, who take up my arms and walk with me to the girls bathroom, Myrtle's bathroom. "So," they say together, "why does you godmother want us all to meet in the Chamber of Secrets?"

"It's unplottable and impossible to get into unless you're a parselmouth or accompanied by one."

"So then how's your godmother getting in?"

"She's a parselmouth."

"Really?! That's so cool!"

"I know."

As we walk inside the others are already there. "Hey, Harry, let us in!" Ron cries, looking unnerved at being in the bathroom.

"Fine, whiner." I lean down to one of the taps, the one with the snake engraved on it. _"**Open."**_ The tube opens up, and I gesture for them all to go down first. I go last, hissing a **_'Close'_** behind me.

The path into the centrum is open and as we enter it, I see the figure of Keta standing with her back to us. "It's about time," she whisper, somehow still making it loud enough for us to hear. "I expect you all to get here faster next time. I don't have very much patience."

"It's my fault."

"I know, Tandafir, and you'll do better. Now prepare yourselves, for Salindra."


End file.
